I'll Still Be Alone

When the dusk turns into night.

When dawn slowly creeps into sight.

When the darkest hours of my life,

Cut into my heart like a dull knife.

I'll still be alone.

When the storms roll into view.

When my mind is all askew.

When I'm sinking into shadow,

And I think I'll never know.

I'll still be alone.

When the clock strikes my time.

When I can no longer rhyme.

When everything has disappeared,

Except the things I've always feared.

I'll still be alone.

I Never Thought

   Funny how people make you feel. How they change the way you think. I never would have thought you'd be the weight to make me sink. You dragged me down into the black, we were destined for abyss. And all the while I never thought there was anything amiss. Everything I gave, you took, always wanting more. You drained away all my love, straight to my body's core. I watched you rip my insides out, but I didn't really care. I'd let you do whatever you wanted just as long as you'd still be there. Until the day you left me I never thought I'd cry so many tears. Every time I tried to smile it was nothing but a sneer. Now my body is completely empty, now my heart's so cold and black. I never thought I'd wish for death. Oh how I wanted to turn back.

   One day as I was watching you with my eyes devoid of soul, I saw you standing with her. I knew you had to pay the toll. I grabbed her by her hair as I stabbed you in your neck. I screamed into your dying face, "Maybe now you won't forget!" I never thought I could ever help the one who took my place. But I had to ease the troubled look she had upon her face. "Now listen to what I say and heed my words of advice. He took away your soul from you, and he stole away your life." She cried, "Don't send me to my grave! I know you can be saved!" I stared into her sad dull eyes as I took away her pain. As I watched her life dry up and begin to go dim, I whispered into her sweet hair, "I've finally saved you from him."

Stairs

I'd forgotten how many stairs were here, and how lonely they make me feel. Deeply inhaling the air as I wander aimlessly. No specific destination in mind; just forward. I briefly stop to admire the art, but my journey's far from over. There's much to see and lots to do. There's no time to stop for long.

I don't remember why I came here, or for that matter, how. But I do know it's where I belong. One, two, three...the stairs only multiply. Looking ahead, it seems as though they go on forever. But I must keep moving.

In a darkened corridor sits a lonely looking couch. It appears to be comfortable, but I've been walking for what seems like days, so anything will do. I stop to take a rest; just a short one. But the couch is so comfortable and warm. It feels like home, if only I could remember where home was. My lids grow heavy as my mind grows foggy. It's as if the couch is whispering to me.
 
"Everything will be just fine."
"Stay a while."
"Tell me about yourself."

I begin to tell my story, but I quickly realize I don't remember what it is. Frantically I search my mind for memories I don't seem to possess. I no longer feel like sleeping. I have to keep going.

"Stay with me."
"Don't leave."
"I need you."

I'm afraid, but I feel pity for this lonely couch. I too am alone, and I know the despair it feels. I begin to relax again, when I remember that this is just a couch. It becomes hard and lumpy. I notice a spring peek through the cushoin. I must go. I can no longer stay.

"Don't go!"
"Stay!"
"I need you!"

The yelling grows faint as I run toward the stairs. I must continue on. No more stops. They only prove to hinder my journey. I will not stop again. I know better than to make the same mistake twice. Walking and walking. All I do is walk, but I know that I'm going somewhere. I just don't know where. And I don't know why. But I know that when I arrive I will be welcomed.

So I keep climbing. Just a few more stairs.

A Dream

I fell asleep with a tear in my eye and a beat in my heart.
Saw life pass me by on a horse drawn cart.
Not very quickly though; just enough
For me not to have time to pack all my stuff.
Left me standing there alone and in fear.
The silence so loud that I couldn't hear.
Clumsy and deaf, I tried to catch up.
Feeling half empty, as is my cup.
Everything in slow motion, and all I could see
Were all of the things I wanted to be
Leaving me standing alone by the road.
So I sat down crying, remembering the day
When I thought all these things would come my way.
Stranded by life and broken by time,
Is when I realized they'll never be mine.

.

 
broken glass shattered dreams
black lace and handkerchiefs silent screams
stinging wasps teeth that bite
darkness shadows and bats in flight
scratches bruises a bloody mess
sobbing weeping in a funeral dress
lost alone can't be found
worms dirt underground
whispers glances pats on your back
foggy blurry all is black
terror fear what's that noise
demons in hell and monsters' ploys
shaking sweating pounding cold
bargains payments buying what's sold
pleading begging paying the toll
He's come for what's due He's come for your soul